You Make My Life

"To know someone here or there, with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts expressed. That can make life a garden." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sometimes you come in contact with people in the most random of places. You might meet your future husband in line to pay for groceries...you could shake hands with the next Bill Gates without even realizing it. Some of the most average encounters could bring the most extraordinary people into your life.

...and in my case, I found my two best friends. (:

Chrisselle Mowatt and Hammy Havoc are two of the most incredible people I have ever met. They make me laugh. They make me smile. They let me know it's okay to dream and be silly. They love me for who I am. They don't judge me for my past...and they promise to be there for me in the future. They're just the type of people you have to ask yourself "Why are they MY friend?" Too good to be true, almost. But it is, and I'm incredibly lucky.


Their talent is endless; I'm in awe at times at some of the things they produce. Chrisselle is an amazing writer, and can give you a perspective of things that is so raw, and so tender...but at the same time amazingly REAL. She's also one of the best photographers I've ever known. She captures images that make you think "Is this actually real? How did I miss that?" And Hammy...his music is...amazing isn't even a good adjective for it. You listen to it, and you can feel all of the emotion put into it. Not only is it beautiful, but it's about things you can actually relate to. He's an independent artist, so it's just MUSIC...not some gimmick like the garbage they play on the radio. He produces what he does to get it out to the world, not to make a buck. He's such an inspiration to me.

Not only are they talented, but they're the most caring people I know. They would do anything in their power to help me. I believe they would even go above and beyond their abilities to do so.
There's not a day that goes by when we don't talk about how much we love each other, and how much we appreciate each other. I never have to wonder what they're thinking. It's so great to be completely honest with someone. They're not just fair-weather friends; even when things get rough, and clouds gather overhead, they stick beside me.

In a few months, I'm traveling to Liverpool to spend mine and Hammy's birthday with them. I am so incredibly excited about this, and you can rest assured that they will be getting the biggest hugs anyone has every received in their life!

There's not much more to say in this post, other than this...

Hammy & Chrisselle:
Thank you so much for everything you've given me...everything from a listening ear, advice, a scolding when I need it, and even just a good laugh. I love you guys so much, and I am so glad you stumbled into my life. Without you two, I wouldn't be me. Most of all...thank you for just being yourselves. ♥

Get Pang A New Xbox

Struggling college student.
Want to help?

Here ya go!

Amount to Something?

Okay...so I'm a jerk, and I'm a weirdo,
And even if I'm lucky I'll amount to zero,
But I thought that you'd love me anyway,
I'm so not even worth it,
But baby, no one's perfect,
Yeah I thought that you'd love me anyway,
Anyway...
"Anyway" by Wheatus

I'm in the slump of the century it seems like. Everyday I wake up hoping to know what I want out of my life, but nine times out of ten, I'm still just as clueless as the night before. I used to be the girl who knew everything she wanted, who had everything under control. As of late, I've turned into one of the people I used to make fun of; a melodramatic, angst-ridden teenager asking every five seconds "What is the purpose of my life?"

I have all of these dreams, all of these passions, but I have no idea how to put them into motion. I don't know where I want to start.

I told my friend Jeremy the other day that I wished someone would just sit me down and say "Angela, do this." But then I realized that I wouldn't be happy then either.

Maybe I'm just meant to be a bum. I think I would look cute peddling spare change wearing nothing but a gunnery sack. Don't you?

I know I have no right to be complaining really; I have friends who love me, a boyfriend who loves me more, and a family who leaves me the hell alone for the most part. ;] (I'm only kidding about that part; I love my family.) But, at the end of the day, it makes me feel a little better to let out my frustrations like this.

Oh well...sorry to have wasted your time ONCE again. That is, if there is actually someone reading this drivel. Who knows?

Le sigh...

It's true...
I'm crazy about you.

Wisdom

Yes..
I've got wit.
I've got jokes.
I've got tons of "I'm better than you." quotes...
I may appear to be ignorant.
I may seem cynical.
But you see...I'm not some cold-hearted, naive teenager full of angst anymore.
This is what happens when you choose to let it all go.
Whether I had a bottle, a cigarette, or a Bible in my hand...everything has led me to who I am right now.
I'm a whole new person with a whole new purpose in mind.
I would rather create something new, or fix what's broken, rather than just crawling and lying in my own bed of disaster.

When I was a child, my parents had many rules in our house. And when there was a rule, you followed it, no leave-way for almosts or maybes. If you ever let the words "I hate you!" flow from your mouth, they would make you write Proverbs.
Word.
For.
Word.
One night, frustrated with 13 year old drama, I said it.
I found out that my parents were not kidding about writing a whole book of the Bible.
All it talks about in Proverbs is wisdom...
...how to drink in everything your parents teach you...
...how to learn from the mistakes you make, and the mistakes you see other people make...
Whether or not you believe everything that is written in the Bible is not what's at hand. I have found from life's lessons though that learning from your past experiences are essential to making it in this world.

You know how stupid you look when you're wrong and everyone around you sees it?
If you'd have listened to what the teacher said that certain day...
If you'd have been more in tune with what's going on in the world...
If you'd had taken the advice your mom tried to give you that ONE time...
...you wouldn't look so foolish.


Basically, I brought all of this up just to say
No.
I am not wise by any means.
I still make mistakes on the DAILY.
I've become a pro at taking the simplest of tasks and contorting them into one big pile of MESS.
BUT
I learn.
I grow.
I take my mistakes and use them to mold me into the best Angela I can be.

If you don't have a clue who I am, or what I've been through, maybe you should take a moment before you judge me.
Keep your mouth shut when you don't know what you're talking about, or wisdom will end up laughing in your face.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

I’m sitting here in my room on a Wednesday morning with nothing but my laptop and a plethora of thoughts spinning about in my mind.

I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s a movie that came out in 2004…one of Jim Carey’s less publiscised movies based on the relationship he formed with Kate Winslett, or Clemintine, and how they both sought out to have each other erased from their memories after a fight.

I was sitting here thinking about it…would I want to have my memories erased, if presented the opportunity? I have always been a strong believer in everything happens for a reason…who you are is based on the people you encounter in your life, the circumstances you face and how you overcome them. But, if you had the chance to erase the most painful memories from your brain forever, would you? I am not sure what I would do.

I think back on the day Kim passed away…it hurts me almost every time I look back. But, that is the last memory I have of her. She was a big part in my life…one of the people that truly accepted me for who I am and was the closest thing to a mother figure I’ve ever had. Her chapter in my life was short, and it ended too soon…but I would not want my life story to be without it.

Then I think back on past relationships…I wasted almost three years on a guy that used me…why would I want to continually remind myself of what an idiot I was? The answer is I learned from that experience. I learned…I grew…I found new friends that mean the world to me. I can’t imagine myself without some of the relationships I’ve formed over these years and with forgetting the one that hurt me so, I would lose all of them too.

So, even though it would be so much easier to get rid of all the sad thoughts, the memories that make our hearts heavy, I wouldn’t do it. The contrast they make in our minds are so important…I mean, you remember how happy you were at prom because you also remember how stressful it was finding that dress, tanning everyday for months only to feel pale…all of the tiny annoyances that bug us so at the moment… and all of those little things completely go away the moment you step foot on the stage and feel truly beautiful.

If it weren’t for the moments in our life that we can look back on and say “I went through that. I went through it…and I SURVIVED.” We wouldn’t be the people we are today. Angela Wilson would not be Angela Wilson if it weren’t for all of her memories…the “good” or the “bad.”

“How happy is the blameless vessel’s lot? The world forgetting by the world forgot… Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind…Each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.” --Alexander Pope

I'm Lame

Technology...hates me...
It's been forever since I posted on here. The main reason behind this is my computer decided to spontaneously die. Yes. Die.
I really missed spilling out to this thing, whether or not you missed me. Haha.

So here's what's been going on with me:
Nothing.
My life is at a standstill. I have no idea what I want at the moment, other than some more tea in my glass. I can't see any further into the future than thirty minutes from now. I've never been like this. I've always had my life meticulously planned down to the smallest details. What has gotten me into this slump? You've got me! School is almost over for the semester...not like that matters to me, since I pretty much gave up. Yeah, I know. Shame, shame.
Some good things that are going for me right now:
One of my best friends (Alexia) is going to Troy now! I can NOT wait until she gets here. I love Jeremy and Michael, but they're men. Men absolutely REFUSE to talk about some things and that's where the girl comes in the picture! :)
Hopefully I will be moving soon. This apartment SUCKS.

That's about it I guess....see? Told ya nothing has been going on in my life! I will trying to post more...it might be from my phone, so I can't promise too much when it comes to the quality of said posts. xD
Anyway, much love.