It's true...
I'm crazy about you.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wisdom
Yes..
I've got wit.
I've got jokes.
I've got tons of "I'm better than you." quotes...
I may appear to be ignorant.
I may seem cynical.
But you see...I'm not some cold-hearted, naive teenager full of angst anymore.
This is what happens when you choose to let it all go.
Whether I had a bottle, a cigarette, or a Bible in my hand...everything has led me to who I am right now.
I'm a whole new person with a whole new purpose in mind.
I would rather create something new, or fix what's broken, rather than just crawling and lying in my own bed of disaster.
When I was a child, my parents had many rules in our house. And when there was a rule, you followed it, no leave-way for almosts or maybes. If you ever let the words "I hate you!" flow from your mouth, they would make you write Proverbs.
Word.
For.
Word.
One night, frustrated with 13 year old drama, I said it.
I found out that my parents were not kidding about writing a whole book of the Bible.
All it talks about in Proverbs is wisdom...
...how to drink in everything your parents teach you...
...how to learn from the mistakes you make, and the mistakes you see other people make...
Whether or not you believe everything that is written in the Bible is not what's at hand. I have found from life's lessons though that learning from your past experiences are essential to making it in this world.
You know how stupid you look when you're wrong and everyone around you sees it?
If you'd have listened to what the teacher said that certain day...
If you'd have been more in tune with what's going on in the world...
If you'd had taken the advice your mom tried to give you that ONE time...
...you wouldn't look so foolish.
Basically, I brought all of this up just to say
No.
I am not wise by any means.
I still make mistakes on the DAILY.
I've become a pro at taking the simplest of tasks and contorting them into one big pile of MESS.
BUT
I learn.
I grow.
I take my mistakes and use them to mold me into the best Angela I can be.
If you don't have a clue who I am, or what I've been through, maybe you should take a moment before you judge me.
Keep your mouth shut when you don't know what you're talking about, or wisdom will end up laughing in your face.
I've got wit.
I've got jokes.
I've got tons of "I'm better than you." quotes...
I may appear to be ignorant.
I may seem cynical.
But you see...I'm not some cold-hearted, naive teenager full of angst anymore.
This is what happens when you choose to let it all go.
Whether I had a bottle, a cigarette, or a Bible in my hand...everything has led me to who I am right now.
I'm a whole new person with a whole new purpose in mind.
I would rather create something new, or fix what's broken, rather than just crawling and lying in my own bed of disaster.
When I was a child, my parents had many rules in our house. And when there was a rule, you followed it, no leave-way for almosts or maybes. If you ever let the words "I hate you!" flow from your mouth, they would make you write Proverbs.
Word.
For.
Word.
One night, frustrated with 13 year old drama, I said it.
I found out that my parents were not kidding about writing a whole book of the Bible.
All it talks about in Proverbs is wisdom...
...how to drink in everything your parents teach you...
...how to learn from the mistakes you make, and the mistakes you see other people make...
Whether or not you believe everything that is written in the Bible is not what's at hand. I have found from life's lessons though that learning from your past experiences are essential to making it in this world.
You know how stupid you look when you're wrong and everyone around you sees it?
If you'd have listened to what the teacher said that certain day...
If you'd have been more in tune with what's going on in the world...
If you'd had taken the advice your mom tried to give you that ONE time...
...you wouldn't look so foolish.
Basically, I brought all of this up just to say
No.
I am not wise by any means.
I still make mistakes on the DAILY.
I've become a pro at taking the simplest of tasks and contorting them into one big pile of MESS.
BUT
I learn.
I grow.
I take my mistakes and use them to mold me into the best Angela I can be.
If you don't have a clue who I am, or what I've been through, maybe you should take a moment before you judge me.
Keep your mouth shut when you don't know what you're talking about, or wisdom will end up laughing in your face.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?
I’m sitting here in my room on a Wednesday morning with nothing but my laptop and a plethora of thoughts spinning about in my mind.
I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s a movie that came out in 2004…one of Jim Carey’s less publiscised movies based on the relationship he formed with Kate Winslett, or Clemintine, and how they both sought out to have each other erased from their memories after a fight.
I was sitting here thinking about it…would I want to have my memories erased, if presented the opportunity? I have always been a strong believer in everything happens for a reason…who you are is based on the people you encounter in your life, the circumstances you face and how you overcome them. But, if you had the chance to erase the most painful memories from your brain forever, would you? I am not sure what I would do.
I think back on the day Kim passed away…it hurts me almost every time I look back. But, that is the last memory I have of her. She was a big part in my life…one of the people that truly accepted me for who I am and was the closest thing to a mother figure I’ve ever had. Her chapter in my life was short, and it ended too soon…but I would not want my life story to be without it.
Then I think back on past relationships…I wasted almost three years on a guy that used me…why would I want to continually remind myself of what an idiot I was? The answer is I learned from that experience. I learned…I grew…I found new friends that mean the world to me. I can’t imagine myself without some of the relationships I’ve formed over these years and with forgetting the one that hurt me so, I would lose all of them too.
So, even though it would be so much easier to get rid of all the sad thoughts, the memories that make our hearts heavy, I wouldn’t do it. The contrast they make in our minds are so important…I mean, you remember how happy you were at prom because you also remember how stressful it was finding that dress, tanning everyday for months only to feel pale…all of the tiny annoyances that bug us so at the moment… and all of those little things completely go away the moment you step foot on the stage and feel truly beautiful.
If it weren’t for the moments in our life that we can look back on and say “I went through that. I went through it…and I SURVIVED.” We wouldn’t be the people we are today. Angela Wilson would not be Angela Wilson if it weren’t for all of her memories…the “good” or the “bad.”
“How happy is the blameless vessel’s lot? The world forgetting by the world forgot… Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind…Each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.” --Alexander Pope
I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s a movie that came out in 2004…one of Jim Carey’s less publiscised movies based on the relationship he formed with Kate Winslett, or Clemintine, and how they both sought out to have each other erased from their memories after a fight.
I was sitting here thinking about it…would I want to have my memories erased, if presented the opportunity? I have always been a strong believer in everything happens for a reason…who you are is based on the people you encounter in your life, the circumstances you face and how you overcome them. But, if you had the chance to erase the most painful memories from your brain forever, would you? I am not sure what I would do.
I think back on the day Kim passed away…it hurts me almost every time I look back. But, that is the last memory I have of her. She was a big part in my life…one of the people that truly accepted me for who I am and was the closest thing to a mother figure I’ve ever had. Her chapter in my life was short, and it ended too soon…but I would not want my life story to be without it.
Then I think back on past relationships…I wasted almost three years on a guy that used me…why would I want to continually remind myself of what an idiot I was? The answer is I learned from that experience. I learned…I grew…I found new friends that mean the world to me. I can’t imagine myself without some of the relationships I’ve formed over these years and with forgetting the one that hurt me so, I would lose all of them too.
So, even though it would be so much easier to get rid of all the sad thoughts, the memories that make our hearts heavy, I wouldn’t do it. The contrast they make in our minds are so important…I mean, you remember how happy you were at prom because you also remember how stressful it was finding that dress, tanning everyday for months only to feel pale…all of the tiny annoyances that bug us so at the moment… and all of those little things completely go away the moment you step foot on the stage and feel truly beautiful.
If it weren’t for the moments in our life that we can look back on and say “I went through that. I went through it…and I SURVIVED.” We wouldn’t be the people we are today. Angela Wilson would not be Angela Wilson if it weren’t for all of her memories…the “good” or the “bad.”
“How happy is the blameless vessel’s lot? The world forgetting by the world forgot… Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind…Each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.” --Alexander Pope
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I'm Lame
Technology...hates me...
It's been forever since I posted on here. The main reason behind this is my computer decided to spontaneously die. Yes. Die.
I really missed spilling out to this thing, whether or not you missed me. Haha.
So here's what's been going on with me:
Nothing.
My life is at a standstill. I have no idea what I want at the moment, other than some more tea in my glass. I can't see any further into the future than thirty minutes from now. I've never been like this. I've always had my life meticulously planned down to the smallest details. What has gotten me into this slump? You've got me! School is almost over for the semester...not like that matters to me, since I pretty much gave up. Yeah, I know. Shame, shame.
Some good things that are going for me right now:
One of my best friends (Alexia) is going to Troy now! I can NOT wait until she gets here. I love Jeremy and Michael, but they're men. Men absolutely REFUSE to talk about some things and that's where the girl comes in the picture! :)
Hopefully I will be moving soon. This apartment SUCKS.
That's about it I guess....see? Told ya nothing has been going on in my life! I will trying to post more...it might be from my phone, so I can't promise too much when it comes to the quality of said posts. xD
Anyway, much love.
It's been forever since I posted on here. The main reason behind this is my computer decided to spontaneously die. Yes. Die.
I really missed spilling out to this thing, whether or not you missed me. Haha.
So here's what's been going on with me:
Nothing.
My life is at a standstill. I have no idea what I want at the moment, other than some more tea in my glass. I can't see any further into the future than thirty minutes from now. I've never been like this. I've always had my life meticulously planned down to the smallest details. What has gotten me into this slump? You've got me! School is almost over for the semester...not like that matters to me, since I pretty much gave up. Yeah, I know. Shame, shame.
Some good things that are going for me right now:
One of my best friends (Alexia) is going to Troy now! I can NOT wait until she gets here. I love Jeremy and Michael, but they're men. Men absolutely REFUSE to talk about some things and that's where the girl comes in the picture! :)
Hopefully I will be moving soon. This apartment SUCKS.
That's about it I guess....see? Told ya nothing has been going on in my life! I will trying to post more...it might be from my phone, so I can't promise too much when it comes to the quality of said posts. xD
Anyway, much love.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Kicking Insomnia's Butt
I have never been one to sleep normally...I'm not even sure that sleep is an accurate description of what I do at night. It's more of a short period of time where I lose consciousness while wearing pajamas. Anyway, these habits have become even worse since I moved to Troy. I would stay up literally all night long, sleep from about 8 AM until lunch time, go to class (sometimes), and then repeat the process. After a while my body started giving out on me. I was constantly grouchy, my room stayed a mess, and I had terrible mood swings. I never understood what it meant to be physically and mentally exhausted until then.
These past few weeks I've been going to bed earlier and waking up around 6 AM every morning. With in the first few days of doing this, I saw an almost immediate change in my disposition. I became more sociable, it's easier for me to focus, and I just all around feel better. I honestly believe that getting a good night's sleep helped me out sooo much!
There are still a few issues I have right now that I think need more than 8 hours of rest at night to fix, and I have to schedule a doctor's appointment for them, but I'll discuss that at a later date.
Well, it's 10:30 right now and I'm feeling my eyes to start to droop, so I guess that means that I better hit the hay. It feels so nice to finally be able to sleep. (:
These past few weeks I've been going to bed earlier and waking up around 6 AM every morning. With in the first few days of doing this, I saw an almost immediate change in my disposition. I became more sociable, it's easier for me to focus, and I just all around feel better. I honestly believe that getting a good night's sleep helped me out sooo much!
There are still a few issues I have right now that I think need more than 8 hours of rest at night to fix, and I have to schedule a doctor's appointment for them, but I'll discuss that at a later date.
Well, it's 10:30 right now and I'm feeling my eyes to start to droop, so I guess that means that I better hit the hay. It feels so nice to finally be able to sleep. (:
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ugh...
You look but you don't see.
You laugh, but it's strained.
You hear, but you're not listening.
You smile, but want to cry.
You're existing...not living.
That's how I feel currently. My life needs to change and it needs to change right now before I lose myself.
Angela Lynn Wilson. Girl of many hopes and dreams. I've lost sight of what I want.
I need direction.
I need to surface from this abyss it seems like I'm in.
I need change.
You laugh, but it's strained.
You hear, but you're not listening.
You smile, but want to cry.
You're existing...not living.
That's how I feel currently. My life needs to change and it needs to change right now before I lose myself.
Angela Lynn Wilson. Girl of many hopes and dreams. I've lost sight of what I want.
I need direction.
I need to surface from this abyss it seems like I'm in.
I need change.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Inhabitants of My Heart
For the past few months I have been thinking a lot about the different people in my life and how they have affected me. The friends that come and go...the family that aggravates you to no end, but would give you the shirt of their back...basically the residents of you heart.
So many times words are left unsaid because we assume people just know. Well, I wanted to let my feelings be known to a few different people.
So this is not a typical blog. This is to you.
Lauren Scurlock
I met you at band camp almost five years ago. That's so hard to believe, isn't it? We survived Mrs. Waller's craziness and made it to high school. That's when the famous first words were spoken... "Hey Angela. I don't know anyone else, so I'm gonna walk with you."
From the beginning you understood all of my weird little quirks and you laughed at my corny jokes. That year you may have just been Kara's little sister to everyone else, but you were special to me. You were my best friend!
You were there for me when I needed you the most. When I needed to laugh and be silly, you always did crazy junk with me. Every time I called you in the middle of the night crying, you always answered and would just listen to me as I poured my heart out. You prayed for me when there was nothing else you could say. Most importantly...when I gave up on myself after Kim died, you held me together.
I know we don't get to talk to each other as much as we used to and I hate that. I wish I could see you everyday, if only just to say "Hey Ladyyy!" and hug you. I know the saying "All good things must come to an end." but I don't want our friendship to ever end. You will always be in my heart, and if you ever need me for anything, I'll be there in a heart beat. Lady and Starchild forever...and that's a fact! :)
Michael Mallet
You are my fast food connoisseur, accomplice on my midnight journeys to Montgomery, and the person I have the most inside jokes with.
Five years ago I never thought we would become as close as we are right now. Many play practices, lunches at Taco Bell, and trips without Jason's knowledge forged a friendship that can never be replicated.
I can talk to you about anything from "skraaaaaawberries" to religion all in the same night. You understand me and my weird ways and you're not afraid to tell me like it is when I need it. I love spending time with you, even if it's just driving around aimlessly listening to music.
A crush turned into a life long friend...
I don't tell you enough Michael, but you mean more to me than you'll ever know. I'll always love you Janksies.
Alexia Folsom
WE ARE FIERCE! :D
You were my best buddy in Physics, my worst nightmare in band, my personal decorator in my apartment, and one of the most special people in my heart.
It took us too long to get to know each other, but the time we have had is more precious to me than you'll ever know.
You make me laugh like no one else can, and you are probably the easiest person in the world to talk to.
We have been through some rough times...stuff I thought would change our friendship forever. It did, don't get me wrong...but I think it just made us closer. In that period of time I realized how much you meant to me and how my life wouldn't be the same without you in it.
Nothing can come between us again...no distance can keep us apart!
I love you all my heart ARF...and remember "Let it be..."
Hope Coleman
If someone would have told me a few years ago that we would be living together, I probably would have laughed at them. We've been friends for a long time, and only roommates for a few months...but Hope, you have become so special to me. You put up with me and my weird habits, you listen to me when I have a breakdown, and you make each day so special.
I am blessed to live with you. You're my roommate, my best friend, and my sister. These are going to be the best two years of my life, and I don't know how I am going to make it with out you. I love you so much Ho-Co.
Jeremy Harrod
Where do I even begin with you?
I can't even remember when you and I became friends, because it seems like you've been in my life forever. I can't imagine Angela with out a Jeremy. You know me better than any other person...better than myself sometimes. No other person can make me laugh so much, think so hard, get sooo mad, or make me forgive them just as quickly.
You moving to Troy with me was a blessing, but I don't know how I am going to manage when you move to Auburn. I don't even like to think about it.
I do know, however, that you will always be my best friend. We're not going to grow apart like some people do.
You're stuck with me forever boo. And you KNOW that I'm just speaking truth. :)
Anna McCurdy
You are closer to me than a friend, more special to me than family...I really don't know how to describe who you are with normal words. You're my Anna; a special kind of closeness that I can never share with anyone else.
We've had some awesome experiences together, "corrupting" each other along the way. I have some of my most special memories with you. We've helped each other get through what seemed like hell, and we still stood strong after it all passed.
It was once said "When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.” You are that person for me Anna. I love you more than you'll ever know, and thank God for putting you in my life.
So many times words are left unsaid because we assume people just know. Well, I wanted to let my feelings be known to a few different people.
So this is not a typical blog. This is to you.
Lauren Scurlock
I met you at band camp almost five years ago. That's so hard to believe, isn't it? We survived Mrs. Waller's craziness and made it to high school. That's when the famous first words were spoken... "Hey Angela. I don't know anyone else, so I'm gonna walk with you."
From the beginning you understood all of my weird little quirks and you laughed at my corny jokes. That year you may have just been Kara's little sister to everyone else, but you were special to me. You were my best friend!
You were there for me when I needed you the most. When I needed to laugh and be silly, you always did crazy junk with me. Every time I called you in the middle of the night crying, you always answered and would just listen to me as I poured my heart out. You prayed for me when there was nothing else you could say. Most importantly...when I gave up on myself after Kim died, you held me together.
I know we don't get to talk to each other as much as we used to and I hate that. I wish I could see you everyday, if only just to say "Hey Ladyyy!" and hug you. I know the saying "All good things must come to an end." but I don't want our friendship to ever end. You will always be in my heart, and if you ever need me for anything, I'll be there in a heart beat. Lady and Starchild forever...and that's a fact! :)
Michael Mallet
You are my fast food connoisseur, accomplice on my midnight journeys to Montgomery, and the person I have the most inside jokes with.
Five years ago I never thought we would become as close as we are right now. Many play practices, lunches at Taco Bell, and trips without Jason's knowledge forged a friendship that can never be replicated.
I can talk to you about anything from "skraaaaaawberries" to religion all in the same night. You understand me and my weird ways and you're not afraid to tell me like it is when I need it. I love spending time with you, even if it's just driving around aimlessly listening to music.
A crush turned into a life long friend...
I don't tell you enough Michael, but you mean more to me than you'll ever know. I'll always love you Janksies.
Alexia Folsom
WE ARE FIERCE! :D
You were my best buddy in Physics, my worst nightmare in band, my personal decorator in my apartment, and one of the most special people in my heart.
It took us too long to get to know each other, but the time we have had is more precious to me than you'll ever know.
You make me laugh like no one else can, and you are probably the easiest person in the world to talk to.
We have been through some rough times...stuff I thought would change our friendship forever. It did, don't get me wrong...but I think it just made us closer. In that period of time I realized how much you meant to me and how my life wouldn't be the same without you in it.
Nothing can come between us again...no distance can keep us apart!
I love you all my heart ARF...and remember "Let it be..."
Hope Coleman
If someone would have told me a few years ago that we would be living together, I probably would have laughed at them. We've been friends for a long time, and only roommates for a few months...but Hope, you have become so special to me. You put up with me and my weird habits, you listen to me when I have a breakdown, and you make each day so special.
I am blessed to live with you. You're my roommate, my best friend, and my sister. These are going to be the best two years of my life, and I don't know how I am going to make it with out you. I love you so much Ho-Co.
Jeremy Harrod
Where do I even begin with you?
I can't even remember when you and I became friends, because it seems like you've been in my life forever. I can't imagine Angela with out a Jeremy. You know me better than any other person...better than myself sometimes. No other person can make me laugh so much, think so hard, get sooo mad, or make me forgive them just as quickly.
You moving to Troy with me was a blessing, but I don't know how I am going to manage when you move to Auburn. I don't even like to think about it.
I do know, however, that you will always be my best friend. We're not going to grow apart like some people do.
You're stuck with me forever boo. And you KNOW that I'm just speaking truth. :)
Anna McCurdy
You are closer to me than a friend, more special to me than family...I really don't know how to describe who you are with normal words. You're my Anna; a special kind of closeness that I can never share with anyone else.
We've had some awesome experiences together, "corrupting" each other along the way. I have some of my most special memories with you. We've helped each other get through what seemed like hell, and we still stood strong after it all passed.
It was once said "When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.” You are that person for me Anna. I love you more than you'll ever know, and thank God for putting you in my life.
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