Technology...hates me...
It's been forever since I posted on here. The main reason behind this is my computer decided to spontaneously die. Yes. Die.
I really missed spilling out to this thing, whether or not you missed me. Haha.
So here's what's been going on with me:
Nothing.
My life is at a standstill. I have no idea what I want at the moment, other than some more tea in my glass. I can't see any further into the future than thirty minutes from now. I've never been like this. I've always had my life meticulously planned down to the smallest details. What has gotten me into this slump? You've got me! School is almost over for the semester...not like that matters to me, since I pretty much gave up. Yeah, I know. Shame, shame.
Some good things that are going for me right now:
One of my best friends (Alexia) is going to Troy now! I can NOT wait until she gets here. I love Jeremy and Michael, but they're men. Men absolutely REFUSE to talk about some things and that's where the girl comes in the picture! :)
Hopefully I will be moving soon. This apartment SUCKS.
That's about it I guess....see? Told ya nothing has been going on in my life! I will trying to post more...it might be from my phone, so I can't promise too much when it comes to the quality of said posts. xD
Anyway, much love.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Kicking Insomnia's Butt
I have never been one to sleep normally...I'm not even sure that sleep is an accurate description of what I do at night. It's more of a short period of time where I lose consciousness while wearing pajamas. Anyway, these habits have become even worse since I moved to Troy. I would stay up literally all night long, sleep from about 8 AM until lunch time, go to class (sometimes), and then repeat the process. After a while my body started giving out on me. I was constantly grouchy, my room stayed a mess, and I had terrible mood swings. I never understood what it meant to be physically and mentally exhausted until then.
These past few weeks I've been going to bed earlier and waking up around 6 AM every morning. With in the first few days of doing this, I saw an almost immediate change in my disposition. I became more sociable, it's easier for me to focus, and I just all around feel better. I honestly believe that getting a good night's sleep helped me out sooo much!
There are still a few issues I have right now that I think need more than 8 hours of rest at night to fix, and I have to schedule a doctor's appointment for them, but I'll discuss that at a later date.
Well, it's 10:30 right now and I'm feeling my eyes to start to droop, so I guess that means that I better hit the hay. It feels so nice to finally be able to sleep. (:
These past few weeks I've been going to bed earlier and waking up around 6 AM every morning. With in the first few days of doing this, I saw an almost immediate change in my disposition. I became more sociable, it's easier for me to focus, and I just all around feel better. I honestly believe that getting a good night's sleep helped me out sooo much!
There are still a few issues I have right now that I think need more than 8 hours of rest at night to fix, and I have to schedule a doctor's appointment for them, but I'll discuss that at a later date.
Well, it's 10:30 right now and I'm feeling my eyes to start to droop, so I guess that means that I better hit the hay. It feels so nice to finally be able to sleep. (:
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ugh...
You look but you don't see.
You laugh, but it's strained.
You hear, but you're not listening.
You smile, but want to cry.
You're existing...not living.
That's how I feel currently. My life needs to change and it needs to change right now before I lose myself.
Angela Lynn Wilson. Girl of many hopes and dreams. I've lost sight of what I want.
I need direction.
I need to surface from this abyss it seems like I'm in.
I need change.
You laugh, but it's strained.
You hear, but you're not listening.
You smile, but want to cry.
You're existing...not living.
That's how I feel currently. My life needs to change and it needs to change right now before I lose myself.
Angela Lynn Wilson. Girl of many hopes and dreams. I've lost sight of what I want.
I need direction.
I need to surface from this abyss it seems like I'm in.
I need change.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Inhabitants of My Heart
For the past few months I have been thinking a lot about the different people in my life and how they have affected me. The friends that come and go...the family that aggravates you to no end, but would give you the shirt of their back...basically the residents of you heart.
So many times words are left unsaid because we assume people just know. Well, I wanted to let my feelings be known to a few different people.
So this is not a typical blog. This is to you.
Lauren Scurlock
I met you at band camp almost five years ago. That's so hard to believe, isn't it? We survived Mrs. Waller's craziness and made it to high school. That's when the famous first words were spoken... "Hey Angela. I don't know anyone else, so I'm gonna walk with you."
From the beginning you understood all of my weird little quirks and you laughed at my corny jokes. That year you may have just been Kara's little sister to everyone else, but you were special to me. You were my best friend!
You were there for me when I needed you the most. When I needed to laugh and be silly, you always did crazy junk with me. Every time I called you in the middle of the night crying, you always answered and would just listen to me as I poured my heart out. You prayed for me when there was nothing else you could say. Most importantly...when I gave up on myself after Kim died, you held me together.
I know we don't get to talk to each other as much as we used to and I hate that. I wish I could see you everyday, if only just to say "Hey Ladyyy!" and hug you. I know the saying "All good things must come to an end." but I don't want our friendship to ever end. You will always be in my heart, and if you ever need me for anything, I'll be there in a heart beat. Lady and Starchild forever...and that's a fact! :)
Michael Mallet
You are my fast food connoisseur, accomplice on my midnight journeys to Montgomery, and the person I have the most inside jokes with.
Five years ago I never thought we would become as close as we are right now. Many play practices, lunches at Taco Bell, and trips without Jason's knowledge forged a friendship that can never be replicated.
I can talk to you about anything from "skraaaaaawberries" to religion all in the same night. You understand me and my weird ways and you're not afraid to tell me like it is when I need it. I love spending time with you, even if it's just driving around aimlessly listening to music.
A crush turned into a life long friend...
I don't tell you enough Michael, but you mean more to me than you'll ever know. I'll always love you Janksies.
Alexia Folsom
WE ARE FIERCE! :D
You were my best buddy in Physics, my worst nightmare in band, my personal decorator in my apartment, and one of the most special people in my heart.
It took us too long to get to know each other, but the time we have had is more precious to me than you'll ever know.
You make me laugh like no one else can, and you are probably the easiest person in the world to talk to.
We have been through some rough times...stuff I thought would change our friendship forever. It did, don't get me wrong...but I think it just made us closer. In that period of time I realized how much you meant to me and how my life wouldn't be the same without you in it.
Nothing can come between us again...no distance can keep us apart!
I love you all my heart ARF...and remember "Let it be..."
Hope Coleman
If someone would have told me a few years ago that we would be living together, I probably would have laughed at them. We've been friends for a long time, and only roommates for a few months...but Hope, you have become so special to me. You put up with me and my weird habits, you listen to me when I have a breakdown, and you make each day so special.
I am blessed to live with you. You're my roommate, my best friend, and my sister. These are going to be the best two years of my life, and I don't know how I am going to make it with out you. I love you so much Ho-Co.
Jeremy Harrod
Where do I even begin with you?
I can't even remember when you and I became friends, because it seems like you've been in my life forever. I can't imagine Angela with out a Jeremy. You know me better than any other person...better than myself sometimes. No other person can make me laugh so much, think so hard, get sooo mad, or make me forgive them just as quickly.
You moving to Troy with me was a blessing, but I don't know how I am going to manage when you move to Auburn. I don't even like to think about it.
I do know, however, that you will always be my best friend. We're not going to grow apart like some people do.
You're stuck with me forever boo. And you KNOW that I'm just speaking truth. :)
Anna McCurdy
You are closer to me than a friend, more special to me than family...I really don't know how to describe who you are with normal words. You're my Anna; a special kind of closeness that I can never share with anyone else.
We've had some awesome experiences together, "corrupting" each other along the way. I have some of my most special memories with you. We've helped each other get through what seemed like hell, and we still stood strong after it all passed.
It was once said "When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.” You are that person for me Anna. I love you more than you'll ever know, and thank God for putting you in my life.
So many times words are left unsaid because we assume people just know. Well, I wanted to let my feelings be known to a few different people.
So this is not a typical blog. This is to you.
Lauren Scurlock
I met you at band camp almost five years ago. That's so hard to believe, isn't it? We survived Mrs. Waller's craziness and made it to high school. That's when the famous first words were spoken... "Hey Angela. I don't know anyone else, so I'm gonna walk with you."
From the beginning you understood all of my weird little quirks and you laughed at my corny jokes. That year you may have just been Kara's little sister to everyone else, but you were special to me. You were my best friend!
You were there for me when I needed you the most. When I needed to laugh and be silly, you always did crazy junk with me. Every time I called you in the middle of the night crying, you always answered and would just listen to me as I poured my heart out. You prayed for me when there was nothing else you could say. Most importantly...when I gave up on myself after Kim died, you held me together.
I know we don't get to talk to each other as much as we used to and I hate that. I wish I could see you everyday, if only just to say "Hey Ladyyy!" and hug you. I know the saying "All good things must come to an end." but I don't want our friendship to ever end. You will always be in my heart, and if you ever need me for anything, I'll be there in a heart beat. Lady and Starchild forever...and that's a fact! :)
Michael Mallet
You are my fast food connoisseur, accomplice on my midnight journeys to Montgomery, and the person I have the most inside jokes with.
Five years ago I never thought we would become as close as we are right now. Many play practices, lunches at Taco Bell, and trips without Jason's knowledge forged a friendship that can never be replicated.
I can talk to you about anything from "skraaaaaawberries" to religion all in the same night. You understand me and my weird ways and you're not afraid to tell me like it is when I need it. I love spending time with you, even if it's just driving around aimlessly listening to music.
A crush turned into a life long friend...
I don't tell you enough Michael, but you mean more to me than you'll ever know. I'll always love you Janksies.
Alexia Folsom
WE ARE FIERCE! :D
You were my best buddy in Physics, my worst nightmare in band, my personal decorator in my apartment, and one of the most special people in my heart.
It took us too long to get to know each other, but the time we have had is more precious to me than you'll ever know.
You make me laugh like no one else can, and you are probably the easiest person in the world to talk to.
We have been through some rough times...stuff I thought would change our friendship forever. It did, don't get me wrong...but I think it just made us closer. In that period of time I realized how much you meant to me and how my life wouldn't be the same without you in it.
Nothing can come between us again...no distance can keep us apart!
I love you all my heart ARF...and remember "Let it be..."
Hope Coleman
If someone would have told me a few years ago that we would be living together, I probably would have laughed at them. We've been friends for a long time, and only roommates for a few months...but Hope, you have become so special to me. You put up with me and my weird habits, you listen to me when I have a breakdown, and you make each day so special.
I am blessed to live with you. You're my roommate, my best friend, and my sister. These are going to be the best two years of my life, and I don't know how I am going to make it with out you. I love you so much Ho-Co.
Jeremy Harrod
Where do I even begin with you?
I can't even remember when you and I became friends, because it seems like you've been in my life forever. I can't imagine Angela with out a Jeremy. You know me better than any other person...better than myself sometimes. No other person can make me laugh so much, think so hard, get sooo mad, or make me forgive them just as quickly.
You moving to Troy with me was a blessing, but I don't know how I am going to manage when you move to Auburn. I don't even like to think about it.
I do know, however, that you will always be my best friend. We're not going to grow apart like some people do.
You're stuck with me forever boo. And you KNOW that I'm just speaking truth. :)
Anna McCurdy
You are closer to me than a friend, more special to me than family...I really don't know how to describe who you are with normal words. You're my Anna; a special kind of closeness that I can never share with anyone else.
We've had some awesome experiences together, "corrupting" each other along the way. I have some of my most special memories with you. We've helped each other get through what seemed like hell, and we still stood strong after it all passed.
It was once said "When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.” You are that person for me Anna. I love you more than you'll ever know, and thank God for putting you in my life.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
2010 Thus Far...
My life is changing more and more each day.
Do I like it? Some days.
Can I do anything about it? Not at all.
The Angela you all grew up with is gone. She's never coming back.
Memories of high school and old friends pass through my mind daily and I wish I could have all of them back in my life, but we've all moved on.
I am uneasy with making new friends, because part of me doesn't want to make room for the new. It feels like I am a memory card in a PlayStation: I would have to delete an old file to add a new one.
I find it hard to be sociable. I used to love to sit and carry on conversations with people for hours on end...now the only people I do that with are Hope, Jeremy, and Michael. I feel like the only reason they listen to me is out of common courtesy sometimes. I don't think I could be my friend. (hahaha...)
Uncertainty is the biggest feeling in my life right now.
Music used to be my solace for when things got bad...it was what I turned to when I couldn't control anything else. Now it's the main cause of most of my stress.
I don't know what will come of 2010, but so far I am not pleased at all with what I'm working with.
[end melodramatic blog....NOW.]
Do I like it? Some days.
Can I do anything about it? Not at all.
The Angela you all grew up with is gone. She's never coming back.
Memories of high school and old friends pass through my mind daily and I wish I could have all of them back in my life, but we've all moved on.
I am uneasy with making new friends, because part of me doesn't want to make room for the new. It feels like I am a memory card in a PlayStation: I would have to delete an old file to add a new one.
I find it hard to be sociable. I used to love to sit and carry on conversations with people for hours on end...now the only people I do that with are Hope, Jeremy, and Michael. I feel like the only reason they listen to me is out of common courtesy sometimes. I don't think I could be my friend. (hahaha...)
Uncertainty is the biggest feeling in my life right now.
Music used to be my solace for when things got bad...it was what I turned to when I couldn't control anything else. Now it's the main cause of most of my stress.
I don't know what will come of 2010, but so far I am not pleased at all with what I'm working with.
[end melodramatic blog....NOW.]
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday Musings
I really hate sitting back and not being able to help the people I love. It's not that I have to feel involved in every aspect of their lives, I just wish I could somehow take away their pain, if only for just a little while. I don't by any means think that I am stronger than them, but I would much rather fight through whatever they're dealing with than watching them hurt.
****
Today my friend Jeremy and I hung out with our other friend from back home. Her name is Whitney, and she and I have been friends ever since the sixth grade. We all went to get lunch together and we got to talking about how in high school we all used to say "We're not going to lose touch with you!" and all of that stuff. Here we are in our second semester here at Troy, and we all agreed that we have virtually lost all contact with people from back home...even the ones that were considered our best friends. It's a really sad thing to realize, but the even sadder part is that you weren't affected really. You sit back and it becomes clear that those people you thought were your friends for life don't make an effort to keep in touch with you, and it's okay! Your life moved on and you didn't even realize their absence until someone ELSE brought it to your attention.
It's funny how the things that used to matter so much have lost their meaning...
****
Today my friend Jeremy and I hung out with our other friend from back home. Her name is Whitney, and she and I have been friends ever since the sixth grade. We all went to get lunch together and we got to talking about how in high school we all used to say "We're not going to lose touch with you!" and all of that stuff. Here we are in our second semester here at Troy, and we all agreed that we have virtually lost all contact with people from back home...even the ones that were considered our best friends. It's a really sad thing to realize, but the even sadder part is that you weren't affected really. You sit back and it becomes clear that those people you thought were your friends for life don't make an effort to keep in touch with you, and it's okay! Your life moved on and you didn't even realize their absence until someone ELSE brought it to your attention.
It's funny how the things that used to matter so much have lost their meaning...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Work It
An out of shape insomniac with no motivation should not make a New Year's Resolution to go to the gym in the wee hours of the morning. I wish I could go back in time and share this tid-bit of information with myself at the beginning of the year.
I begrudgingly crawled out of the bed this morning at 6 am, threw on a ratty t-shirt and jeans, and trudged out into the subarctic temperatures that have decided to come to ALA-FREAKING-BAMA. I got to the gym and went inside to find it full of big, hairy, sweaty men that knew exactly what they were doing. I, however, have the technological skills of a cricket so I felt pretty dumb fiddling with the so called "treadmill" and trying to get it to turn on. (What happened to just walking on it and it moving?)
Several minutes later I finally got to rolling. Literally...rolling. I almost fell down because it caught me of guard going from stationary to Jesse Owens mode it 0.2 seconds. After I finally got the hang of it, I walked. And I walked. And I walked. Then I got on a bike and I pedaled, and pedaled, and pedaled.
The rest of the day I felt like I could pass out, pass out, pass out.
Later today, I kept falling asleep while I was taking notes in Biology. Normally the stimulating lectures on the Scientific Method keep me bright eyed and bushy tailed (insert scoff here) but today I just kept nodding off! I have little black lines all over my paper from where I would fall asleep in the middle of writing a word. The boy beside me probably thought I was a terrible mix between a narcoleptic and someone with Parkinson's disease...
The moral of the story is...
Never make New Year's Resolutions that conflict with the ways of nature.
For example: A fish should not say "This year I'm going to fly more than swim." or a squirrel shouldn't decide "Hey...I think I am going to try to take the freeway more often."
But most importantly...
Angela Wilson should not decide to go to the gym at the butt crack of dawn ever again.
I begrudgingly crawled out of the bed this morning at 6 am, threw on a ratty t-shirt and jeans, and trudged out into the subarctic temperatures that have decided to come to ALA-FREAKING-BAMA. I got to the gym and went inside to find it full of big, hairy, sweaty men that knew exactly what they were doing. I, however, have the technological skills of a cricket so I felt pretty dumb fiddling with the so called "treadmill" and trying to get it to turn on. (What happened to just walking on it and it moving?)
Several minutes later I finally got to rolling. Literally...rolling. I almost fell down because it caught me of guard going from stationary to Jesse Owens mode it 0.2 seconds. After I finally got the hang of it, I walked. And I walked. And I walked. Then I got on a bike and I pedaled, and pedaled, and pedaled.
The rest of the day I felt like I could pass out, pass out, pass out.
Later today, I kept falling asleep while I was taking notes in Biology. Normally the stimulating lectures on the Scientific Method keep me bright eyed and bushy tailed (insert scoff here) but today I just kept nodding off! I have little black lines all over my paper from where I would fall asleep in the middle of writing a word. The boy beside me probably thought I was a terrible mix between a narcoleptic and someone with Parkinson's disease...
The moral of the story is...
Never make New Year's Resolutions that conflict with the ways of nature.
For example: A fish should not say "This year I'm going to fly more than swim." or a squirrel shouldn't decide "Hey...I think I am going to try to take the freeway more often."
But most importantly...
Angela Wilson should not decide to go to the gym at the butt crack of dawn ever again.
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