Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

I’m sitting here in my room on a Wednesday morning with nothing but my laptop and a plethora of thoughts spinning about in my mind.

I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s a movie that came out in 2004…one of Jim Carey’s less publiscised movies based on the relationship he formed with Kate Winslett, or Clemintine, and how they both sought out to have each other erased from their memories after a fight.

I was sitting here thinking about it…would I want to have my memories erased, if presented the opportunity? I have always been a strong believer in everything happens for a reason…who you are is based on the people you encounter in your life, the circumstances you face and how you overcome them. But, if you had the chance to erase the most painful memories from your brain forever, would you? I am not sure what I would do.

I think back on the day Kim passed away…it hurts me almost every time I look back. But, that is the last memory I have of her. She was a big part in my life…one of the people that truly accepted me for who I am and was the closest thing to a mother figure I’ve ever had. Her chapter in my life was short, and it ended too soon…but I would not want my life story to be without it.

Then I think back on past relationships…I wasted almost three years on a guy that used me…why would I want to continually remind myself of what an idiot I was? The answer is I learned from that experience. I learned…I grew…I found new friends that mean the world to me. I can’t imagine myself without some of the relationships I’ve formed over these years and with forgetting the one that hurt me so, I would lose all of them too.

So, even though it would be so much easier to get rid of all the sad thoughts, the memories that make our hearts heavy, I wouldn’t do it. The contrast they make in our minds are so important…I mean, you remember how happy you were at prom because you also remember how stressful it was finding that dress, tanning everyday for months only to feel pale…all of the tiny annoyances that bug us so at the moment… and all of those little things completely go away the moment you step foot on the stage and feel truly beautiful.

If it weren’t for the moments in our life that we can look back on and say “I went through that. I went through it…and I SURVIVED.” We wouldn’t be the people we are today. Angela Wilson would not be Angela Wilson if it weren’t for all of her memories…the “good” or the “bad.”

“How happy is the blameless vessel’s lot? The world forgetting by the world forgot… Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind…Each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.” --Alexander Pope